This post is aimed at otherwise mentally healthy, neurotypical human beings. I am not here to bash people struggling with depression, anxiety, other debilitating mental illnesses, or those who are hardwired differently. Although, if you’re feeling particularly down at the moment, perhaps suffering from depression, you can still read it. It might bring about a transformation in how you see the world.
For everyone else, including me, we have to ask ourselves whether it is right to blame anyone or anything outside of ourselves for feeling unhappy.
Questions Without Answers was inspired by the ducks in the pond — not the ones pictured. Following my morning Tai Chi training, I chose a spot by the pond to meditate, rather than the forest where I usually go, and I sat watching them in silence.
As I sat in silence, the birds on the pond were busy being themselves, splashing around, making a variety of sounds, paddling, diving, and pruning themselves.
And there, in the duck pond, for all the world to see, was the mystery of life in all its glory. Why the hell did my son die of cancer? The same reason those ducks won’t be here in a decade or so (yes, they live that long!), the same reason I won’t be here, and ultimately, the same reason for everything–because.
Searching for answers is fruitless. When a toddler first asks the question “why”, it should be nipped in the bud. We need to figure out how to maintain a natural curiosity while accepting fully that it is what it is.
“Because” as an answer is absolute acceptance. It brings peace. Can you accept it as an answer?
Why are you here? Because.
Why are you reading this? Because.
Questions Without Answers
Humans know so little
Yet think they know so much.
Questions for every situation,
They try to number-crunch.
No amount of mindset training will fully prepare you for some of the trials and tribulations life can throw at you. The use of meditation, mindfulness, and various mental programming techniques has set me in good stead for withstanding a variety of mental and physical challenges. It has also helped me to bounce back from setbacks.
This article considers the role poetry can play in helping us to strengthen our mindset by processing events in a positive and creative way.
I’m passionate about developing and maintaining a mindset that works for me rather than against me. For most of us, the mindset we start with is not one that we consciously adopted. Our mindset evolves as a product of experience, self-talk, the opinions of others, life lessons and the development of beliefs and attitudes that are not always home-grown.
It is on us to reflect on all aspects of our mindset and check whether it is fit for purpose or encompasses our true values. Optimal mindset programming is the phrase I coined to describe the process of identifying the thought patterns, attitudes and beliefs that will best serve us, and using tools to lean into them.
While dealing with the recent loss of my twenty-one-year-old son, I went to see a local Catholic priest. He happens to be a highly trained and experienced psychotherapist.
As we discussed death and the rituals surrounding it, he opined that when anyone dies, our relationship with them changes. This strongly resonates with me because it is something that I have already been reflecting on deeply.
It was a Tuesday, 27 August 2019, when I noticed a shout-out
on the Radio Sangam Whatsapp group. The CEO said he had been invited to work on
a Bollywood film as an extra. It was set in a male prison. Did anyone want to
I did not expect it to be a paid opportunity, but it sounded like an adventure, and I had nothing to lose by throwing my hat in the ring.
Over the years, I have spoken to many people whom I would consider to be self-actualised, awakened, enlightened, wise… there are many different names for it. In my experience, they all had something in common.
When I first took on the role of radio presenter, I was already an accomplished communicator; professional writer, martial arts instructor, mindfulness coach and trainer. Shaping ideas, knowing how to express them with clarity, and having the courage to let others hear my voice was not an issue. So, what did I learn?
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